Life's Incongruity

6 Weeks since my last post - yikes, not intentional nor is it ideal. 

Life has been busy in the Compson household and with our Milford First Brethren Church. I doubt you have interest in my detailing all that has been going on so I'll spare you that. 

But I thought I might share some of the incongruous elements of life I've been noticing recently. 

"Incongruous" by the way is one of those big words that deserves defining. It means "not harmonious, incompatible, inconsistent within itself".

Raising two young boys has plenty of "incompatible" moments. I started latching onto the label "agents of chaos" to describe what it's like. That's probably somewhat unfair though because Stephanie and I love them dearly even if we end many days exhausted. 

But from a fuller perspective it is a satisfying joy to see our kindergartner maturing and behaving well enough at school to be named "Student of the Month". Things like that make his parents' hearts happy for sure. 

T requested I include a picture of his special dog tags he received.

That joy stood in incongruous contrast to what developed over the weekend. 

See, a few weeks ago, my mom flew over to Israel to visit her sister and her family. My aunt and uncle have lived in northern Israel for decades, running a school and serving in a variety of ways. 

And then last weekend the terrorist group Hamas orchestrated surprise attacks, initiating a bloody and awful conflict that is still playing out. The attacks in and around Gaza are well south of where my family is. Still, I do have cousins who are now 'called up' and serving in the IDF. And should the conflict escalate and other nations join in the attacks, my mom, aunt, and uncle will certainly be in real danger. 

So our joy is mixed with concern, even sadness as we read and observe what's going on in this far-away conflict that is hitting very close to home. But even being in consistent communication with my mom, incongruity pops up again. She's giving voice to faith, not fear. They are all praying fervently for peace, justice, and God's protection. A godly serenity though chaos is knocking on their door. 

Could this be a holy incongruity? Things aren't making sense, circumstances are NOT harmonious. 

But God is still good. And Jesus is still on the throne. We can trust him - especially in the incongruity. 

Stasis and Stagnation

Stasis is defined in Webster's as "a state of static balance or equilibrium". I've been thinking a lot about stasis recently. Mostly from my couch.

I just turned 42 yesterday and adding to that our two toddlers at home, I am realizing how the older I get the more comfortable I am being still and static.

And I'm realizing it takes a little extra effort to break up the stasis. 

I had a similarly aged friend tell me that many mornings it is tough for him to get out of bed, but once he does he's up and awake. I definitely relate to that but for me it also applies to the couch, during the day, or in the evening, when the kids are running all over the place an tearing up everything.

I don't want to be the dad who's always lounging around on his phone or watching tv, mostly ignoring his kids. People are constantly telling us that while this is a crazy time of parenting, "it goes by so fast" and we should "cherish it". And I do, we do. Sometimes. 

Other times I let myself get annoyed at their endless energy or constant inquiries. 

Much like my friend's morning routine, I am finding that my penchant for stasis can be easily overcome by a little willpower to just get up. By just putting down the phone and starting to interact, I find the energy and joy to play with my boys or pick up some of the mess they've made. 

Rest and stillness have their place in life. But there's a difference between stillness and stagnation. Balance is good, using it as an excuse for laziness is not. 

These kinds of lessons spur me on in other areas beyond our living room.  Motivation to exercise can start by just 'getting up' and making some time. And my faith walk can certainly slip into stagnation. But a little extra time a little more honesty with God can go a long way to building some positive growth and spiritual momentum.

And of course, just opening up my blog page and typing out some thoughts can start my first post in over a month. 

In whatever area of life you're static in, I hope you can find that little push to fight that stasis and get going.

Wednesday Wisdom

So my wife and I started our family "late" according to convention. We were married 11 years before we welcomed our oldest into this world. Almost exactly two years later, boy #2 came along. 

Both have taught us a lot of lessons. Lessons people talk about plenty but only parents really know. So I realize I'm not breaking new ground here but one parental observation hit me today.

Our youngest is turning into a real unique individual person. 

Astonishing right?

So, he's got ear and eye infections along with being contact-traced at daycare which means our routine is upended and he's hanging out with dad a bunch. 

Being our second, he has more or less been a tag-along as he's grown up. His big brother is more active and naturally advanced meanwhile #2 is just along for the ride. 

Well, as I tried to get some study in and work done from our church nursery today, I suddenly recognized, "this little man is his own dude". He's at a fun stage where his personality is starting to show and he can communicate verbally just enough.

I'm thankful they get along with each other pretty well. I'm thankful for a great wife to share this privilege of a burden (or is it burden of a privilege) with. And I'm thankful for my little guy who's growing and learning and proving to be both a handful and a blessing.

Postscript: This is kind of dumb but I notice a lot of parents don't use names or post many pictures of their kids online for often unspoken but understood privacy and security reasons. I don't buy it all 100% but abiding by those principles nevertheless.

Theology from Parenting

It's been close to a month since my last post. Life has gotten busy and no real strong music has come across my path for #MusicMondays inspiration.

Well, something did dawn on me the other day - kind of a half-baked theological idea - and I thought I might as well process it out via this post. 

See, I've found myself using the phrase "...because I don't want you to get hurt" as I've been redirecting our two toddler-aged boys. "Don't stand on your chair, don't climb up on the table - because I don't want you to get hurt." Our oldest especially is entering the stage where we can explain a little of the reasoning as to why we are saying certain things. Usually we have to keep it basic - both because of his level of understanding and our energy levels. So often I default to "because I don't want you to get hurt" just because it's an easy-enough generality and I know he can get that.

After saying this at some point last week, I realized there could be a spiritual lesson there. If parenting can teach me about how God is our Father (and it can), is this how our Lord sometimes communicates with us. Take away our tiredness, and I think it might. 

God doesn't always explain everything to us. His Word is comprehensive but it isn't always super-detailed. Sometimes he explains why his will needs to be followed. Other times he leaves it at the level of "I don't want you to get hurt". It is easy to question why God sets the standards he does because so often they go against what we naturally want. 

But God sees the bigger picture. He sees how a short-term fix might lead to long-term damage. 

Again, there are plenty of examples in Scripture where he gives rationale for his "rules". Often though it boils down to his fatherly love for us and wanting to prevent us from harm.

Another corollary to this that is not even half-baked (is quarter-baked a thing?) popped into my mind regarding this too. We just celebrated Easter, is there a connection from this idea to Christ's ultimate sacrifice and his resurrection?

In order to shield us from God's just wrath, our brother took our place out of his infinite love, in essence saying "I don't want you to get hurt". 

Still working these things out in my head at this point. If you agree or disagree I'd be happy to hear it in the comments below or via FB/Twitter.

It is not an entirely new idea to me - God wanting to protect us from harm. But it has taken on a new aspect now that I am a dad myself.

Music Mondays

Theme songs have magical powers. 

Before, I would have affirmed that statement while recognizing how hyperbolic it is. You'll never be able to convince me otherwise of it's literal truth now that I'm a parent.

Partly due to my own tv watching habits and partly due to my own affinity for these songs, two distinct, lyric-less songs will stop our two boys in their tracks and get them dancing in front of the tv.

First, is the classic ditty from The Office:

Going back to the early days in our marriage, I would often drum tap on Stephanie's leg whenever the song played at the beginning of the episode. Now I carry on that tradition with our sons and it has gotten to the point where they will halt whatever activity or mood they happen to be in, in order to listen to the music.

A second one has emerged as a powerful attention grabber, this time without my enthusiastic encouragement:

I am a sucker for the classic L&O shows, my personal opinion being that the after the first 10 seasons or so, the writing and plot structures became a bit formulaic. The classic jazz/blues number (is that the right genre?) really matches the tone of the older, grittier seasons. 

Much like The Office, my kids couldn't care less about the show itself once the song is done, but it is so amusing to see them react to the music each time.