Faith and Doubt

I am 41 almost 42 years old. 

I've read the Bible since I was a kid and have seriously studied it since I was 17. And still there are times where I go, "Hmm, never seen that before."

The latest example came this week as I prepped for my sermon on the aftermath of the resurrection, in Matthew 28 - appropriately one week after Easter.

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.

Did you catch that? "they worshipped him; but some doubted." 

It is no secret that the disciple Thomas doubted (see John 20) and his story is instructive on its own. But this implies there were more "doubters". And Thomas' account is actually more about disbelief. The term used here is about uncertainty, hesitation, and being unsure. Without splitting too many hairs, these comments are not about unbelief-related doubt but about confusion-related doubt.

And who can blame them? They'd just been through a roller-coaster of a week, filled with hopeful celebrations and the starkest of traumas. The "too-good-to-be-true news" turns out to be real and they worship. Some clearly are still trying to process it all and have genuine doubts - unsure about what it all means, what has happened, and what is to come.

The incredible thing about this part of the story is Jesus' response. We know he graciously warns Thomas about "unbelief" but in this description regarding these doubts, he offers something different. He does not rebuke them for denying him (looking at you Peter) or abandoning him in the Garden (looking at the other 10 of you). He reassures them by focusing them on his supreme authority and empowering them for their mission: 

18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

One takeaway from this new observation is that faith and doubt can go together. Some view doubt as an enemy or the opposite of faith. It is as if we must have all the answers to all the questions or we aren't right with God. I don't think so. I think doubt/uncertainty is inherent to faith. Like the father seeking healing for his son in Mark 9:24, we will honestly say sometimes "I believe, but help my unbelief". 

Jesus isn't threatened by our hesitations, confusion, or for that matter our unbelief. He offers us himself -  the supreme King of the Universe - not to give us all the answers, but to encourage us that he's in control. He has a purpose for us and he will be with us. 

There will always be an element of ambiguity to life of faith in Jesus. There will be things we don't know, can't know, and will never know. He will take care of that stuff - and take care of us. And he will welcome our struggle with doubt even if it gets mixed in with our worship. 

Our human nature won't like the tension of faith and doubt. If we turn it over to Jesus, we can learn to live with it.

Obscure CCM Bands - Vo. 4

I really thought I was done with this little series. I had a couple others I thought I might share but nothing really stood out to me. 

Then three weeks later I remembers this band. They are a group that represents one of the rare times where CCM was ahead of the cultural wave instead of following it's wake. 

The band - AVB. Acappella Vocal Band (or is it "All Vocal Band", this website makes me wonder if I've been mistaken for 30 years).

You must understand, long before the Pitch Perfect movie franchise and even before Glee became a cultural phenomenon, CCM was featuring acapella groups all over the place. Now this isn't to say that acapella music was totally absent in mainstream culture, it wasn't. In fact I remember Rockapella being ever-present on one of my favorite tv shows, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

AVB was actually an off-shoot from the original group named Acappella, a vocal group founded in the early 80's. Both groups had their 15 minutes of CCM fame for sure. But it is AVB that made an impression on me. 

Their 1989 album Song in My Soul put them on my musical radar thanks to a couple songs that got radio play. Before I looked it up, I was sure this was the early 90's. As I look back though, they were probably my gateway-drug to the emerging pop-rock CCM acts that followed - ie, Newsboys, dc Talk. Their style had great vocal harmony but also featured an up-beat, almost hip-hop sound. 

The song that hooked me, for at least this one album, was "The Victim". Here's a version they did at what is an apparent reunion appearance 10 years ago. 

The group had many iterations, normally made up of 4-5 members at a time. I will never be confused with being a judge on any singing competition, yet they seem to still have a lot of talent and skill. And by combining into a larger group, they are able to do a nice job layering their sound.

I could not have told you that when I was a pre-teen though. All I knew then was, they had a unique sound and catchy lyrics. In this case, convicting-ly catchy lyrics. I gave my life to Christ at an early age, but I remember this song in particular being one of the first times I really learned that Jesus' death gave me the key to "stop doing those things" I knew were wrong. It was more than knowing right from wrong, but knowing how to live accordingly.

And as we consider anew the incredible truths of this Holy Week, the one Truth that stands above all is that when he "died upon the cross, the wage of sin was then made free". He truly took the torture and the punishment that was mine, that was ours. He became the victim of our crime. What a sacrifice and what a wonderful Risen Savior we serve!