Faith and Doubt

I am 41 almost 42 years old. 

I've read the Bible since I was a kid and have seriously studied it since I was 17. And still there are times where I go, "Hmm, never seen that before."

The latest example came this week as I prepped for my sermon on the aftermath of the resurrection, in Matthew 28 - appropriately one week after Easter.

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.

Did you catch that? "they worshipped him; but some doubted." 

It is no secret that the disciple Thomas doubted (see John 20) and his story is instructive on its own. But this implies there were more "doubters". And Thomas' account is actually more about disbelief. The term used here is about uncertainty, hesitation, and being unsure. Without splitting too many hairs, these comments are not about unbelief-related doubt but about confusion-related doubt.

And who can blame them? They'd just been through a roller-coaster of a week, filled with hopeful celebrations and the starkest of traumas. The "too-good-to-be-true news" turns out to be real and they worship. Some clearly are still trying to process it all and have genuine doubts - unsure about what it all means, what has happened, and what is to come.

The incredible thing about this part of the story is Jesus' response. We know he graciously warns Thomas about "unbelief" but in this description regarding these doubts, he offers something different. He does not rebuke them for denying him (looking at you Peter) or abandoning him in the Garden (looking at the other 10 of you). He reassures them by focusing them on his supreme authority and empowering them for their mission: 

18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

One takeaway from this new observation is that faith and doubt can go together. Some view doubt as an enemy or the opposite of faith. It is as if we must have all the answers to all the questions or we aren't right with God. I don't think so. I think doubt/uncertainty is inherent to faith. Like the father seeking healing for his son in Mark 9:24, we will honestly say sometimes "I believe, but help my unbelief". 

Jesus isn't threatened by our hesitations, confusion, or for that matter our unbelief. He offers us himself -  the supreme King of the Universe - not to give us all the answers, but to encourage us that he's in control. He has a purpose for us and he will be with us. 

There will always be an element of ambiguity to life of faith in Jesus. There will be things we don't know, can't know, and will never know. He will take care of that stuff - and take care of us. And he will welcome our struggle with doubt even if it gets mixed in with our worship. 

Our human nature won't like the tension of faith and doubt. If we turn it over to Jesus, we can learn to live with it.